Wonder of...


Assalammualaikum...
Ada kerja nak buat harini? Kalau ada...pegang bahu dan kata.
"Thanks for being productive today"

I'm still at home mencari gali ketenangan. (realitinya, give me any job to do please)

Harini saya nak cerita about this topic --> OCD & OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder)

I just wondering about this. How dangerous it? and how it affect people's life?
So, I do research sebab saya baru terbaca satu artikel dari someone yang share cerita tentang hidup dia bila mengalami symptoms ni.
It isn't kind of disease yang menyebabkan sakit pada fizikal tapi ia penyakit yang menganggu mental atau jiwa seseorang. Bahasa lainnya adalah psikologi abnormal.

First, secara ringkasnya orang yang ada kedua-dua jenis kecelaruan ni biasanya akan mengalami perasaan was-was dalam satu hal. Contohnya, bila cuci pinggan dia akan rasa tidak bersih walaupun dia sudah mencucinya berulang kali. fikiran mereka akan mendesak mereka untuk melakukannya berulang kali. Mereka akan sentiasa bimbang dengan sesuatu perkara. Ini bagi OCD.
Bagi OCPD pula, ia adalah rutin harian seseorang secara peribadinya. Contohnya, bila mereka mengalami rasa was-was (OCD) terutamanya dalam hal kebersihan, rutin harian mereka seperti mandi, mereka akan mengambil masa yang lama untuk memastikan diri mereka benar-benar bersih. Begitu juga dalam melakukan kerja-kerja mengemas rumah, mereka akan mementingkan keteraturan dan kekemasan semua benda dan ini akan mengganggu jadual masa dalam rutin harian mereka.

Dengan symptom2 macam ni, mereka akan lebih cenderung untuk mendapat masalah kemurungan, cepat letih, mudah marah, rasa kurang selesa dsb. Disebabkan depression ni juga, ia mungkin akan mengakibatkan masalah jiwa dan mental jika tidak dirawat.

Bila dengar ciri-ciri OCD & OCPD ni, terus cek diri sendiri haha.
Sebenarnya, I've to learn how to control my emotion je.
Tak tak, saya belum sampai ke tahap kecelaruan macam ni.
Tapi memang sometimes akan rasa ragu2 tapi not too much. Bila dah rasa satu pinggan berminyak atas rak pingan I'll recheck pinggan2 lain dan cuci kalau ada yang berminyak. Tapi rasanya ni sebagai common sense sebab takkan kita nak biarkan. Satu lagi benda yang annoying, bila tengah sakit tekak I will imagine a lot of bacteria are flying around me. Time tu la terbayang habuk2 kipas berterbangan, debu2 berlegar2 depan mata sampai rasa macam dah masuk berkumpul dalam tekak. Cuma rasa annoying and I just wearing mask, settle.

Tapi, walaupun rasa insecure sangat dengan habuk2, I prefer untuk kemas rumah than masak. Sebab kalau nak suruh masak, I need pembantu yang jadi tukang cuci segala pekakas masak yang dah diguna, kalau tidak I'll take time untuk cuci sambil memasak sebab tak boleh nampak bersepah dalam sinki (so, it caused my cooking will be overcook sebab I sibuk cuci besen2 dan segala bekas2 letak sayur, ikan dan sebagainya xD) but I'm not stress on it. Avoid dari rasa stress. Enjoy la my meals and someone tolong la kemas sinki when I'm cooking -_-.

And one more thing why I prefer untuk kemas rumah, sebab bila orang lain kemas rasa macam tak bersih terutama bab menyapu. Actually bersih je pun orang tu kemas cuma rasa nak puaskan diri sendiri. I'm so dengki dengan habuk, it is my musuk ketat forever.

So in conclusion, i just can advice sesiapa yang ada perasaan was-was dengan sesuatu yang dianggap tak logik atau rasa diri tu sentiasa berasa bimbang yang melampau, buat lah rawatan dan berjumpa dengan pakar.
Everything kita kena mula dengan pengawalan diri kita, cuba untuk mengawal emosi kita agar kita tidak dikawal olehnya. Enjoy your life with smile, don't be overstress or overthinking.

In this world tidak ada manusia yang meminta untuk sakit, penyakit macam ni juga bukanlah sesuatu yang diminta, boleh jadi itu ujian bagi mereka.
I've seen ramai yang struggle to survive from this disease. Be strong guys, hopefully you can fully recover and can enjoy your life without stress or depression. :)

Fiction in my bucket list


Assalammualaikum...
Rather than thinking about others problem, I'd better run my life with my desire.
Oyemjiiii...my fiction collection ain't finished yet.
Ada 5 fiction tapi baru siap dua.

Tak boleh sembang nak buat cuti ni kerana itu adalah angan-angan yang nyata angan-angan. Its very short time I've though dan tak sangka pengakhiran zaman kampus ni akan bagi aku bawa balik benda yang unexpected to happen.
Tengok tu, terfikir lagi -_-
Tak guna la nak fikir, makin hari makin stress nak fikir.
Just wanna let you know that I love you. Get well soon, please be happy, smiling as before, may Allah always make you strong.

Ok, lets talk about my fiction even its not important for you but its very important for me.
Yesterday He Dies (Complete)
Way back home (Ongoing)
The last present (Not start yet)
You're not different (Not start yet)
#  My friends across the river (Not start yet)
Extra : # Dear diary (Ongoing)
Taraaaa!!! boleh click the link to read yang dah complete.
Itu saja. tak boleh lebih-lebih nanti semua tak jadi. Now, just done plotting everything nanti dah siap, I'll post at my Fanfic blog.

Ada one of my story yang rasa nak give up sebab dah tak ada idea nak teruskan. Sekarang baru siap 3 chapter daripada 5 chapter. Anyone nak sambung cerita ni? I nak let go. Semua cerita in malay version sebab slice of life kena tulis dengan penuh perasaan. Kalau sebelum ni cerita love story, I use to write in english sebab ayat malay nampak sangat mengada-mengada and I don't like it. Hahah end up, I stop to write that genre.

Ok now, rasa nak intro plot story. Sis ni macam tak ada kerja kan, dah la lusa exam.
Jangan risau, sis dah study cuma belum habis. ^_^'
:D...dan jangan risau juga, plot ni dah lama dibuat, just copy and paste here to share. Plot ni sis tulis bahasa mix ada plot malay and ada plot english sebab mood tulis plot masa tu berubah-ubah haha, but the story is totally in bahasa melayu tercinta.

...............

Yesterday he died
Casts : Do Kyungsoo & Kang Ha Neul
Genre : Slice of life, Friendship, Family
Song : Best Friend by UNIQ

Do Kyungsoo is the one and only son living with his mother. They have an ordinary life. Kyungsoo always being bullied at his school. His mother always get mad with him when he return home with scar on his face and whole body. He thought, his mother never love and cares about him because his mother still blamed him for the death of his father.
Kang Ha Neul is a new student at his school. The presence of Ha Neul totally changed his life. They being a close friend, Kyungsoo felt protected and being more motivated. But at the end, its going so bad. Ha Neul was killed by the student who always bullied Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo unable to share his happiness at the end of Ha Neul's death, Ha Neul died on his lap.

Way back home
Casts : Jung il Woo, Jung il Hoon & Yook Sung Jae
Genre : Slice of life, Family, Friend, Dreams
Song : Way Back Home by BTOB

Jung il Woo is Jung il Hoon's brother, they are only two sibling. They live in a problematic family where their father failed in his business while their mother is someone who desire to live in high class standard life. When their father bankrupt in the business, their parents getting to have divorce.
il Hoon is the only who saw what happened to his parents while his brother, il woo is currently working in aboard as a doctor. il Hoon got so much depression with his family's situation. He plan to run from his home and leaving his school. He go somewhere that he never being there. He walks alone along the beach but suddenly, he saw a women age around 48 years old walking towards the sea. il Hoon, not expect anything but actually she want to commit suicide. Once he realize it, he run to save that women, then, the women's son, Yook Sung Jae comes running towards them. il Hoon help Sung Jae to brings up his mother to home. Sung Jae told everything to il Hoon and they start to share about each other situation. il Hoon realize how strong Sung Jae can keep living in that kind of life. Sung Jae run a business of dried squid in his village. il Hoon ask permission to live there for a few days before he return home with a new hopes and big dreams.

The last present
Cast : Kim Bum & Jang Dong Yoon
Genre : Slice of life, Family, Action, Humanity
Song : (Not Yet)

Setelah Kim Bum ditinggalkan oleh kedua ibu bapanya. Hidupnya sangat tersiksa sehinggalah dia akhirnya dijumpai oleh seorang lelaki yang berumur dalam lingkungan 40-an iaitu merupakan ketua samseng yang mengawal seluruh daerah Hanyang. Lelaki itu juga merupakan antara orang yang sangat berkuasa serta giat menjalankan aktiviti haram seperti penyeludupan dadah dan perjudian. Kim Bum diambil sebagai anak angkat lelaki itu dan dia dijaga sejak berusia 8 tahun sehingga kini berusia 23 tahun. 
Apabila ayah angkatnya semakin tua dan tidak mampu untuk meneruskan segala kegiatannya, Kim Bum pula secara tidak langsung dilatih untuk mengambil alih tempatnya. Lelaki itu sangat yakin dengan jiwa serta kebolehan yang dimiliki Kim Bum. Namun apakah pengakhiran hidup Kim Bum apabila disahkan menghidap penyakit hati kronik. Pertemuannya dengan Jang Dong Yoon iaitu seorang pelajar sekolah yang menjadi mangsa orang bawahannya, telah merubah pemikirannya terhadap apa yang dilakukan selama ini dan dia berhasrat untuk menebus segala kesalahan sebelum akhir hayatnya.

You're not different
Cast : Kim Ji Soo, Nam Da Reum & Cho Eun Hyung
Genre : Slice of life, Family, Dream
Song : (Not Yet)

Kisah tentang seorang pemuda (Kim Ji Soo) yang tinggal bersama dua orang adiknya (Nam Da Reum & Cho Eun Hyung) serta ibunya yang lumpuh. Ji Soo merupakan anak sulung dan berhenti sekolah untuk mencari sumber pendapatan. Salah seorang adiknya (Cho Eun Hyung) bisu dan cacat penglihatan. Ji Soo harus memberikan sepenuh perhatian terhadap kedua adiknya.

My friend across the river
Cast : Kim Taehyung, Kim Seok-jin & Jeon Jungkook
Genre : Slice of life, Friendship.
Song : (Not Yet)

Kim Taehyung suffer with brain tumor. His bestfriend, Jeon Jungkook and Kim Seokjin don’t even know about his condition. He uses to survive alone until he finally can’t be strong anymore. Jungkook and Seokjin find out about that and they quite upset with his action. Taehyung don’t have much time because his condition is too critical. He have a wish where he wanted to go to a one beautiful village that placed across the river. Jungkook and Seokjin brings him there to fulfill his hope.

Extra : # Dear diary
Cast : Do Ji Han 
Genre : Slice of life, Dreams
Song : (Not Yet)

Do Ji Han seorang yang gemar mengembara seorang diri. Dia akan melakukan apa sahaja untuk memastikan kakinya terus berjalan dari satu tempat ke tempat yang lain. Setiap detik pengembaraannya akan dicatat dalam sebuah diari miliknya. Di setiap akhir catatannya, dia akan catat “I'm here, but again, you are not here”. Cerita ini sepenuhnya menunjukkan diari kisah pengembaraan Ji Han sehingga diari itu tidak lagi ditulis buat selama-lamanya.

...............

Ok, thats all ^_^ Selamat mereput menunggu cerita-cerita ini siap.

Oh! what I've done in early May....??

Hi guys, here again! I'm in this site. Talking something that I shouldn't. I've many think. Overthinking in simple word. Actually, yeah I shouldn't talk about this thing, It's all about my stress. (should minum air Yassin or air Ruqiah). So, this May is began with stressful days.

Ok, I'm not that 'clever' to jot down all my stress here right?. so, just let it go...I'm not going to talk about that. I'm quite relieved....

Before I start...I love to mention this;
"Bencilah perbuatannya dan bukan pelakunya"
So, It was like this,
I've friends....we're not too close for sharing about ourselves honestly....just assume we're friends. All of us rarely gathering together. I just know them almost 3 years. They have their own lifestyle....own personalities...own character...own thought...and everything about those I just need to respect without arguing. "I'm a weaker....I'm a weaker...."(singing in the water)

"Guys!! please covering your aurat..."
.
.
 "Stop dating...stop talking harsh words...stop cursing"
.
.
"Stop playing around with your words....stop this....stop that..."

I really can't talk like this to them.
I'm not hating them...I just hate their attitude...and of course I hate myself. Kenapa boleh tengok attitude orang tapi tak mampu nak tegur? why with me why?
I don't want to let them go with that way...they already know everything. They ever covering their aurat perfectly but then, change back again to their previous life for a reason:...."I don't want to be hypocrite"

So, what should I do? They know about that but ignore it....and I'm still in this responsibility :'(

One more thing...
Simple advice to others....
I'm begging to all my friends...
Please!!!
control you emotion...
control our happiness...even kita happy macam mana sekalipun try to not showing either it means or not to hurt others.
Jaga batas pergaulan kita, I've promise myself to not showing my crazy side to any guy, so I hope you don't drag me to be crazy. I can't control my craziness, so I begged for help...it sometimes happened. (Crazy that I mean is : make a super duper stupid joke, or story that make me laugh out of loud...fangirling etc). I'll start hating myself when I'm realize it happen. Silent is always right when I hate myself.

I need 18 years to just talk about friend because that is the period where I start having friends in my life. I'm a sensitive person. I hate a liar. Faker who fake in everything. (Better to stay away from me before I love you to be my friend). It was hurt you know? DAMN HURT!!!

Ok!! enough...I don't want to talk anymore!!!

__________________________
WILL BE MY NEXT FICTION
COMING SOON




Unmanageable life

Take your break and have your coffee
Nothing to discussed, but I want take time to breathe.
I'm sooooo kalut this week sebab fyp. but ye la salah sendiri jangan nak salahkan benda lain. One thing I have learn is...cool je~ 

Masa last minit nak print report, masa tu la Allah uji. tiba-tiba printer trouble, tiba-tiba maintainance datang cek letrik, tiba-tiba printer blh print semua words tapi tak dapat print file pdf. Report should be handed before 11.30 tapi kami tiga ketul ni, jam 12 baru siap print report. "la yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha...."....In that situation bersangka baik saja pada Allah...

Member sorang ni pun cakap "kita kaan baik....". Lepastu, aku ketawa bila dapat point apa yang dia nak cuba sampaikan. hahaha (its just a joke, she don't mean it sebab dia tahu tak elok bila rasa diri kita baik)
Memanglah Allah akan uji orang yang baik tapi dalam kes ni kita tak la baik sangat sebab tangguh kerja...xD
Tapi. alhamdulilah, report kami diterima dengan baik oleh encik fkal, lecture pun tak ada kat situ so, tak ada masalah. Allah akan permudahkan.

Finally, lepas habis hantar report, kami bertiga pun keluar ke bandar like other girls will do when they are stress is, shopping...hahaha

Kalau fyp ni da buat masa cuti haritu memang tak ada hal. Cuma the reason kenapa last minit baru buat, adalah disebabkan faktor infomasi yang kurang jelas, end up kerja sebulan dapat disiapkan dalam masa seminggu. Thats why stress melanda-landa. Orang semua balik rumah qada' tidur tapi tidak kami xD

Dua malam tak tidur sebab fyp, just take a nap. Nak tahan mengantuk tu dia punya sakit jangan cakap. Nap kejap2 dalam 2 jam, masa tu ingat mati je. hahaha but I dont want to die because of fyp. Menyesal tak terkata jadinya.

So now, everything was done and just wait for the day of presentation. wish me luck.
Sekarang seriously kena manage balik hidup yang makin tak teratur ni. assignment yang berlambak lagi. -_-

Kena buat preparation untuk presentation ahad ni. Tapi ekceli tak rasa nebes lagi sebab rasa cool buat fyp haritu masih tertinggal. Kali ni jangan stress sangat. Love what you do, do what you love....I'm trying to love my fyp then, pass it well...
"Excited nak bentang bisnes yang menjadi impian dan angan-angan selama ni. Bentang dengan sungguh-sungguh...pertahankan minat kita dengan kesenian.!!" - me talk to me...kbai
Ingatlah, tidak dikatakan beriman seseorang itu selagi dia tidak diuji

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